Does being modest mean being unattractive?

I asked my soon to be husband, “does being modest mean being unattractive?” and guess what his answer was. “YES! Of course that’s what it means.”

Don’t worry ladies, my plan is to not just accept a “YES” for an answer, and instead try to do some digging of my own.So what does it mean? I perceive modesty as true gender equality. I know, I know, many of you may think that this is an outrageous claim. However, I beg to differ. Before I take my argument further, I would like you to take a few seconds looking at the following pictures.

The above pictures show examples of the men and women today in one of our most fashion savvy societies! Hollywood! What can you see from these pictures? Women are showing their luscious hair, curvaceous figures, spotless faces, and soft skins. And the men? They are all covered up with clothes. I don’t see gender equality in these pictures. I see women striving for attention by using tools that do not include their brains and men on the other hand, just showing up neat and tidy.

So we come to this; Is being like men, being unattractive? Are men unattractive in general?

You may ask, but what do we mean by the word attractive? Aha. That is what I wanted to get at. Is showing our figures and curves and skin and hair considered being attractive? I would say yes, partially. Attractive means “being pleasing or appealing to the senses”. And showing all of that may please the senses of the men. So why are men not pleasing us? Why are they not walking on red carpets with their chests out (there may be a few crazy occasions where one person has done that, but we are speaking on a general level)?

We see a man who is well presented, and the first thing in our minds is not, “mmmm…. What a *** *** of ***!”. …and that is, my dear readers, the brutal truth. Why is there this constant obsession for women to please all men that see them? Can we not just be pleasant, neat, and tidy, without having to attract the sexual desires of all the men we come across? That is modesty. To not attract. Maybe my man was right after all. It is what it is.

QUOTE of the DAY

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said: “Modesty and faith are tied up together; they are always to be found together.”

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